Growing Together Without Losing Ourselves

The Creative Paradox of Attention and the Inner Life

AJ Augur, Kimberly Phinney, Grant Herbel, and 2 others

Jan 16, 2026

If Substack were a human, what would it be?

A spouse shares the center of your life and shapes daily rhythms.
A child draws care because of dependence and growth.
A sibling inhabits shared history and ongoing proximity.
A cousin belongs, but without daily expectation.
A friend invites chosen presence and mutual exchange.
An acquaintance exists at the edge of awareness.

We instinctively know that not every relationship gets the same access to our time, our thoughts, or our emotional energy.

But if you were to sit and measure it honestly, without even counting emotional investment, where would Substack fall?

The strange thing is that for many of us, the relationship we have with Substack does not fit any real-life category. It is not intimate in the way a spouse or close friend is. And yet, it often has more access than either. More frequent touchpoints. More voices. More invitations for response.

Platforms introduce a form of closeness that does not exist in ordinary life. Many people. Continuous access. Few natural limits.

Substack is not one thing. It is a community where people pull up chairs. It is a feed designed for discovery and visibility. It is a library where we enter one another’s thoughts and leave traces of our own. And as we learn how this space works, as we grow our circles and deepen relationships, we also have to make room for a parallel conversation. How do we guard our inner life while participating fully and generously here?

The language God has given me for this creative relationship is breathing.

We inhale and we exhale.
We receive and we pour out.
We withdraw and we re-enter.
We create and we rest.

A life of love works the same way. As we give ourselves outwardly, something in us will always call us back inward. Back to quiet. Back to prayer. Back to the interior life where we are formed before we are visible.

But growth intensifies the environment. More notifications. More messages. More opportunities. And without intention, that call inward can get crowded out. Our attention is pulled from the life we are living into the life on our screens. Even the joy of creating can quietly become fragmented. This does not arrive with alarms or clear lines. It accumulates quietly. It is what many now call technoference, when technology interrupts presence without our permission.

But noticing this changes how I want to talk about it. When something works this subtly, the answer is rarely strict rules or sweeping solutions. It’s learning to pay attention again. Together.

I am not interested in fear-based boundaries or moralizing tools. I am interested in discernment. In shared wisdom. In learning how others are navigating this same tension with humility and grace.

What follows is a simple Q&A. Space for shared experience. Shared wisdom. If there are other questions or insights you’d add, I’d love to hear them in the comments.

What has Substack made possible for you that wasn’t possible before?

AJ: Substack has widened my prayer life, helping me see and pray for what God is doing beyond my own small world, while also giving me a community of writers to support and inspire one another.

Paul Christopher: Creativity, Community Connection, and Direct Accessibility. Substack enables writers to be creative, take risks, and gather feedback. Subscriber Chat helps in building community, and through Direct Messages and Emails you can directly access readers/subscribers. I even do a separate WhatsApp for Subscribers - really friends - who want more interaction like prayer requests, general life questions, and other support/encouragement.

Grant Herbel: Creative support. With other platforms I’ve used, you kind of just publish into what feels like a void and hope for interaction. But on Substack, from day one I’ve interacted with other writers and readers who have the same goal as me: to elevate and grow in Christ. Part of that is Substack’s structure and part is the algorithm, and I think that part is simply the kind of person who is drawn to this platform in the first place.

Biblical Womanhood: Substack has been a great place for me to write through the changing season of life our family is in. It’s given me space to reflect on my journey as a mother for the past 23 years, how I’ve grown, what I’ve learned and what I would do differently if I could. It’s also given me space to soak in the goodness of God in my life as I reflect. I enjoy the friendships, though virtual, and how interacting with other moms brings a sort of shared community. On a more practical note, Substack has become an income source for me personally within our home. I’ve been a stay home mom our whole marriage—and I love the time that granted me with our kids.. but as we transition into our kids all being grown it is nice to see how I can personally contribute to our finances while still being incredibly present within our family and home.

Girl Journeying with Jesus: Substack has given me the permission to write steadily and deeply without the pressure to be performative or apologize for tenderness, faith, or length. ‎I used to feel pressured to compress truth into bite-sized inspiration or algorithms. Here, I tell my stories fully, inviting people into a shared journey. ‎It has shown me that a community can be built around sincerity, not spectacle.

Angela Williams: Substack has given me a place to openly share what the Lord puts on my heart and to see others doing the same. I’m encouraged by the honesty here—people sharing faith, struggles, victories, wisdom, and prayers—and by how genuinely supportive this community is.

Brooke Z: God has blessed me with many opportunities through Substack that I would have never dreamed of honestly! When I started Substack, almost a year ago, I knew no one on this platform. I had been writing smaller posts on Instagram but no one was reading. So I thought I would give Substack a try! I wrote a few posts to see what might resonate with people and was almost shocked when they actually read and engaged with my work. My years being a Christian, wife and a mom raising a family as well as homeschooling my children have provided me with many topics to write about, gained me invitations to collaborate with other writers and be a guest on podcasts! I feel like Substack is allowing me to have all my interests and creativity come together in a time of my life when I have more time to share and encourage others, especially moms and homeschool moms!

Andrea Brown: Just write. One of my favorite aspects of Substack is the freedom to write without pressure. There is always an open invitation to conversation around the work. It’s a space where writing doesn’t have to be fully polished, where beginners like me can write freely. I don’t have to string my thoughts together or connect every dot. Sometimes the writing is simply a pour-over, raw, unfinished. And here, it is received. In fact, people are incredibly kind, often stepping in to encourage and support the writing process itself. It is definitely a collective, creative community of beautiful image-bearers.

Lyn Ferreira: Writing on Substack has helped me own my identity and voice to a new degree. As a recovering people-pleaser, it’s easy for me to chameleon myself so I fit into a variety of settings and don’t ruffle any feathers. Part of my healing is owning who God’s created me to be and facing the discomfort of putting myself out there for others to see! Substack provides the opportunity to move through that resistance and bless others. I’m also grateful that I now have a place to share and grow together with people across the world—I truly enjoy the community aspect of this platform.

Kimberly Phinney: My journey with Substack has been unique and extremely rewarding. I lost my classroom to horrible circumstances and illness in 2023. Since then, the ache to teach has never waned–even though my body can no longer carry me through an in-person job. So, today, Substack allows me to write, serve, and teach via TheWayBack2Ourselves.com and the work I do there in a rooted community as founder, editor, and publisher. Through Substack, we now have content, a podcast, creative writing courses, and the popular Poetry University, where we meet once a month on Zoom to help emerging poets and writers grow in their content knowledge, craft, and publishing experiences. This platform is flexible and neatly fits within my other responsibilities as an English professor and professional writer. I am very grateful for this platform and the community we get to make through it.

What shapes what you read here?

AJ: If you write about dignity, identity, prayer, or the Bible, I’m very likely to stop and read. I care so much about highlighting voices that lift up Christ, especially those that aren’t widely seen yet. Helping that kind of work be discoverable matters to me.

Paul Christopher: Mainly just the Bible. I spend most of my free time in the Word. I prefer more systematic reading - through a book/letter or sometimes a character.

Grant Herbel: I look for authenticity. Fortunately, Substack is a place where people seem to feel more comfortable being vulnerable, and authenticity shines through that. Like AJ, I tend to read mostly from other Christians, but even outside that, if the content is authentic, it can be deeply meaningful--even if I disagree with their conclusions.

Biblical Womanhood: I really find that I enjoy a variety of writing on Substack. I try to read a few pieces from alternative point of view from my own weekly. I think it’s important to read the things I 100% agree with, but it is equally important to read things I disagree with. Both sharpen me as a writer, and personally as I continue to grow through life.

Girl Journeying: My walk with God, my questions, my scars, my quiet joys, and the everyday quest to find faith-centered truth. I’m mostly drawn to conversations that are relatable and in line with my values. As someone very cautious of what I let into my soul and spirit via words, I’m quite selective of what I read.

Angela Williams: Honestly, the Holy Spirit. Whatever He leads me to click on, I do. That may seem too simplistic, but I just follow His leading! Same with what I choose to write about. I’m not on any kind of schedule with any kind of agenda…I just flow with Him. :)

Brooke Z: I enjoy mainly reading what other Christian men and women, as well as homeschooling moms write about and share here. I enjoy encouraging others in their walk with Christ and their homeschool journeys, two things that I am passionate about! I think it’s important to engage with others as it makes for a better sense of community and can inspire the person you are conversing with to keep going! I’ve met so many wonderful people here that I want to meet in person someday!

Andrea Brown: I’m especially drawn to those who write openly about their faith. I love journeying along with people as they glean from the Word of God, sharing what the Lord has revealed to them. I truly treasure these pieces! Faith and hope undone in the most marvelous way. I take them in slowly, gathering what He is revealing through their honesty. There is always a gift tucked inside their words from the Lord that somehow feels just for me. I am grateful for the sharing of our Lord Jesus in this space.

Lyn Ferreira: The voices I’m most drawn to have depth. Those who go beneath the surface, who are interested in exploring love and healing and the heart rather than superficial fixes. I’d rather read something a little raw, a little messy, than pieces that posture perfection. Bonus points if there is some humor sprinkled in! Mostly I’m into the Christian, health, mental health spaces. I would like to expand more and read some fiction and other genres as well.

Kimberly Phinney: Because the algorithm feeds you what keeps you engaged, I am never short on rich, thoughtful pieces from mostly a Christian worldview. I appreciate deep work and things that focus on faith, art, and culture. I particularly enjoy Inkwell, After Babel, Deidre Braley, Solum Literary Press, Karen Swallow Prior, Josh Nadeau, The Clayjar Review, Amanda Held Opelt, K.J. Ramsey, and Mariana Herrera Mosli, among many other great writers. I want to be in community and to be sharpened, so I am always looking for writers who help me do that.

What’s your weird Substack traits?

Grant Herbel: There are times when I tend to find articles that look interesting, save them to read for later, and then not come back to read them for months (if ever). That’s when I realize I’m slipping into the “consumer” mindset. It’s much better for me to be more intentional with what I read and give it time for contemplation.

Girl Journeying: ‎I write like I’m sending letters to a friend I deeply care about - not like I’m building a brand. I care more about how a piece feels in your spirit than how well it performs. I’m also very comfortable sitting with my words before publishing. Some drafts rest for days until they feel honest enough to be released.

Angela Williams: I don’t have any desire to “do everything this way and expect x, y, z results.” That’s not what I’m here for. I honestly haven’t even decided exactly what I am here for except that I love community that feels like home and I try to create that anywhere I go. I love Jesus with everything in me and I simply want to share Him at every opportunity and this is just an outlet for that. I love to create and write and utilize the gifts He’s given me - to bring HIM glory - and that’s all I want…so I trust Him with every outcome! I say that may be “weird” to others because so many people here are trying to make money off it, grow large followings, etc…and I don’t care about all of that. So it may be weird to some.

Brooke Z: I definitely have my favorite writers and will check out their posts first and likely share a quote or restack the post for them. Then I usually head to notes to peruse what is happening there and try to leave a like or an encouraging note or restack for someone. Notes are a great way to get to know other writers.

Lyn Ferreira: When I discover someone I connect strongly with, I go full-on superfan, liking and commenting on a bunch of their notes and posts all at once. Sometimes I wonder, “Am I being too much?” and then I think, “Nah!” and I proceed liking absolutely everything they’ve said.

Kimberly Phinney: Hmmm… I am not really sure. Maybe it’s my fits and spurts with posting notes. I’ll go days with little to say, and then out of nowhere, I have too much to say and a bit more time on my hands (especially on my sick days with chronic illness) when I’ll post probably too many notes!

What helps you notice when Substack is replacing a space that should belong to God (or real people)?

Grant Herbel: For me this comes in the act of writing itself (which I do exclusively on Substack). There are times when I’ve recognized that I will approach my time with God as a place to mine for content. I notice this strongly because instead of feeling full and refreshed after that time, I feel more antsy and perhaps even stressed. But God is good, and He is always there, drawing me back to Him.

Biblical Womanhood: Ah, what an excellent reflection question. Since my husband (@biblical man) and I are both active on Substack I think we try to help keep one another accountable. I notice it in the home when it’s too quiet and we are too checked out—doing important work within our ministries on Substack—but, dropping the ball within our home. This balance is crucially important for me. I also know I need to step back and reprioritize when my mind is filtering everything through a “could I write about this” lens.

Girl Journeying: When validation is being sought after rather than consecration. When writing becomes louder than listening. When metrics begin to shape obedience to God, and when the eagerness to share an insight outweighs the reality of people living it.These things often draw me back to refocus and ensure my goals are aligned with God’s.

Angela Williams: As with anything else, keeping aware of how much time I’m spending here and when. If I’m going to Substack first thing in the morning instead of the Lord, something’s off. I love, love, love to read and be encouraged by what others are saying ABOUT the Lord, but never in replacement for my own time WITH Him.

Brooke Z: I always want to glorify God with whatever topic I happen to be writing about so I always want to be mindful of that aspect in my posts and notes. When I start looking at the numbers and the data, that is a sign for me that I need to focus on my writing/art and connecting with people, who cares about the numbers! If this is the place that God wants to use me for the time being, numbers don’t matter, people do.

Andrea Brown: When things begin to feel pressured or hurried, I recognize a drift most often from presence and abiding into striving. Not simply with Substack but anything in life. When my eyes shift from Him to anything else, the rest, peace, and joy I deeply relish seem to slip away. It’s a subtle exchange, but a costly one. It signals that I’ve shifted from communion to consumption, and that shift never remains isolated. I’m grateful for the nudges from the Holy Spirit, often found in the ordinary aspects of my day that remind me of my need for Him, to return to Him. Jesus is so wonderful—He pursues us even in the midst of misplaced affections.

Lyn Ferreira: When my left eye starts to get red. Also, my husband notices when I am getting a bit too sucked in and helps remind me to put it down. Probably the biggest internal warning sign is if I’m craving approval. For me, that’s a direct reminder to recenter in God’s love.

Kimberly Phinney: This can be a real struggle for me because of my rather cloistered life with serious chronic illness. I can’t be in an embodied community as often as I want to because I spend a great deal of time sick in bed. Substack has helped create a community for me that I am often missing out on in my daily life. It’s not ideal; I dream of the day I can walk out of my house and rejoin the world. But for now, that’s not my lived experience, so Substack has been a lifeline in some ways. To that point, I am aware that I need to be very careful–because no matter how great Substack might be, it’s not a real, embodied community. It’s really meant to complement what we already have via our churches, schools, jobs, and community, etc. In 2026, I am asking myself, how might I try to create more embodied living in the body I have right now? Of course, I see my friends and family and do the best I can, but I also know that there are times I am numbing out on digital outlets rather than reaching out to tell a friend, “I’m lonely” or “I’m really struggling.”

What boundaries keep you whole here?

Grant Herbel: The big one for me is to not keep the app installed on my phone. I love interaction with the community, but I save that for dedicated time each day.

Biblical Womanhood: I am very particular about being 100% authentic to who I am as a person. I do not write anything I feel is disingenuous from who I really am. I have a strict personal conviction about being authentic—I don’t want my kids and family to read my writings and be like—“who is this person?”

Girl Journeying: ‎Well, I don’t owe the internet constant access to my soul. I protect my quiet time with God. I process some of my seasons privately before they’re shared publicly. I teach myself to rest without guilt. And more importantly, I ensure I don’t chase trends that dilute the integrity of my voice.

Angela Williams: Substack (& everything else) comes AFTER my alone time with Jesus. I get on and scroll through, read people’s work, comment and engage, encourage and support, maybe share a note or a post…then get off. I’m not attached to this platform all day every day. Some days, I don’t even get on it at all. Like I said before, I let the Holy Spirit lead me in all of it. It’s allowed me a lot less stress and pressure and I can actually enjoy my time on it and not feel like it’s ruling me in ways that other social media spaces tend to do.

Brooke Z: There are exceptions, but I try to only Substack after my daily Bible reading and prayer time is over as well as my household duties. If my grandkids are here, they get my FULL attention and that is no sacrifice at all!

Lyn Ferreira: I spend time with God before jumping on Substack. This grounds me so I’m able to give from a place of generosity. I don’t have the app on my phone and take one day a week completely off. Like Biblical Womanhood, I am committed to being myself, and similar to Girl Journeying with Jesus, I write as God leads and do not chase trends. I do my best to communicate depth in the topics I address, and not oversimplify or create clickbait. I’m accountable to God, in how I present myself and His truths, and I take that seriously.

Kimberly Phinney: The biggest lesson I learned before being here was throughout my 20-year teaching career and running an English department, and it is this: Never believe the hype. People will hate you. Don’t take it personally. People will love you. Don’t let it go to your head. iDr. Tim Keller’s slim book, The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness, does an outstanding job on this teaching. Our identities aren’t rooted in what others think about us; we are rooted in what Jesus did for us, what God says about us as his Imago Dei. This radical understanding helps me know my calling and my boundaries. Now, I work from abundance and service and not for approval. These boundaries are a gift from above!

What’s one way you’ve learned to be generous without becoming constantly available?

Grant Herbel: I find it difficult to reply to every comment, as much as I’d love to. After replying to a few, it can begin to feel like I’m saying variations of the same thing, which really doesn’t serve anyone. Now, I tend to reply to just a handful each day, with the intent of responding more deeply to that person. And remember, simply liking and restacking is a small act of support that goes a long way.

Biblical Womanhood: I try to keep in mind these are real people on the other side of the screen. Their lives and time are important, too. I think you can respond to folks in a reasonable time frame and within reason people are gracious. It’s mostly just about keeping the perspective of my REAL life has to take precedence the majority of the time—but if I allocate that convenient times in our family schedule I am able to juggle being there for my readers as well.

Girl Journeying: I’ve learned to give deeply when I give but not endlessly. I respond thoughtfully to comments. I strive to create space for my readers while still honoring my limits. And with other writers, I love to leave a like and comment that says, “I see you and what you just shared is valuable.”

Angela Williams: I give where I feel there’s a need for it. I love to encourage and support people who are newer, like me, or those who are calling out for help/prayers, or who don’t have much engagement…I respond and build up with care, compassion, and empathy as is my nature. Always rooting for the “underdog” and the ones less seen.

Brooke Z: Sometimes Substack can become “too much” and when that happens I will delete the app off my phone and only use my laptop which is in a different place in my home. With that said, I try very hard to give likes generously, comment thoughtfully and encourage immensely. We are all just trying here!

Lyn Ferreira: I try to tune into discernment. While I can’t give a heartfelt response to everyone, at times I feel like God highlights someone and I keep a radar out for what He may be saying to them.

Kimberly Phinney: If you’ve read anything I’ve written or have been around TheWayBack2Ourselves.com long enough, then you know what I am about to say: It’s all about extending radical belonging to others. For me, this is about a heart position–not production or performance. My illness makes my capacity extremely limited when measured against my passion and vision, so it has taught me a new way to live. There is never enough of me to go around–not even for myself and my own family. So, everyday is a surrender to whatever my body will allow. What that does mean is that in whatever it is that I can do, I will offer radical presence and belonging to whoever I am with or to whatever task is at hand. As a life-long teacher, professor, and community leader, extending belonging and dignity to others is my highest priority. Thank God that can be communicated within a minute’s time and not through grand gestures of overextending myself alone.

If you could change one thing to make Substack healthier for attention and community, what would it be?

Girl Journeying: I’d love to see slower visibility rewarded. A culture that continually encourages thoughtful engagement. On direct messaging, I’d appreciate a voice note feature. Substack has been that space where readers and writers feel less pressure to perform and more freedom to simply be human.

Brooke Z: I really wish that Substack would avoid the videos and protect the slower pace here for its readers as well as have a built in system for notes to be published on a schedule (like the posts) instead of using an outside app.

Lyn Ferreira: I think Substack would be better without videos. The “slow” space is what drew so many of us here. Also, I think it would be healthier for engagement if each publication had a clear target audience statement. Some people use their bio this way, but it seems like arguments and miscommunications often occur simply because we don’t understand the audience someone is writing for.

Kimberly Phinney: Wow, that’s a great question! Foremost, I would want to protect what Substack was a year or two ago: less hustle culture, less people selling how to make money on Substack, less (or no) videos of influencers, and less visual indicators of status metrics. It’s hard to feel communal when things begin to feel too much like Instagram or other SM platforms that went sideways (see enshittification, if I can say that). I think a strong personal ethic is very important, too. As a professor who teaches on rhetoric and the dialectic, the way we use language and engage with others in the public square are paramount. I highly recommend Neil Postman’s Amusing Ourselves to Death and George Orwell’s essay, “Politics and the English Language,” if you’d like to deep-dive into what I mean. Perverse, offensive, and fallacious language is an affront to a civilized society, and of course, poor character begets poor form, so our language models become an extension of ourselves while simultaneously instigating a collective downward spiral: novels become essays that become paragraphs that become tweets that become memes that become emojis that become… Okay, I’ve gone on too much! I think you get the point.

What’s a belief you had to unlearn to stay sane here?

Grant Herbel: There are many platforms where it’s easy to slip into the “output machine” mindset. Where you have to stay consistent at the cost of everything else. Coming to Substack I realize I had a similar mindset, but as I’ve been here, I’ve found more value in human interactions and sustainable rhythms than aiming for growth at all costs.

Girl Journeying: That consistency must come at the cost of rest. I also had to learn that obedience, integrity, and spiritual health matter far more than metrics. A small, nourished flame is better than a large, burning-out one.

Angela Williams: It takes time to learn anything new, and people ARE here and willing to help. You don’t have to do what everyone else is doing either though. Go at your own pace. Learn and share and just use the platform in a way that makes sense to you and that you feel comfortable with.

Brooke Z: To stay sane here I have to realize I can’t read everything posted here, even by my favorite writers! I would love to read all the wonderful things that people write, in both posts and notes, but to be a good writer I need to experience life to make that happen and not be on the computer or phone all the time.

Lyn Ferreira: I don’t have to respond to everything I disagree with. I can get worked up when I see oversimplifications, pieces that lack grace, or those that misrepresent God. But it’s not my job to correct everyone—I’m simply called to steward the platform He’s given me.

Kimberly Phinney: I think it’s the “production lie” that I carried over from Instagram. The whole “feed the machine” that I loathed–and have officially quit from. Our work doesn’t disappear in 12-24 hours here. Our email list actually sees our work in their mailboxes, whereas only about 5% of Instagram followers might see our offerings, which is demoralizing. So, I am very grateful that I feel like I can rest here in true longform, rather than hustling in shortform. I’m not an influencer. I’m not going to be recording my life or giving out 5 quick tips that will change your life right now, and all that silliness. I am an introverted academic and poet. For now, Substack allows people like me to find a quieter corner of the world, and I appreciate that.